The pro-death crowd has for sometime suggested that killing the very old, very young, and very infirm can in fact be compassionate. How can we, they ask, condemn the fetus to what will surely be an uncertain and painful life? Why would we, they opine, allow the very old or infirm to suffer needlessly?
Now consider, if people hate you enough to pay to kill you, the dollar figure they are willing to pay is a very concrete measure of potential pain/suffering. Now I realize, the left really hates it when you kill somebody because you hate them. That's why they created hate crimes! Murder isn't murder unless there are certain emotions present. It's just not cool to kill people because you hate them.
That is why I suggest we legalize third party assassination. The assassin, properly licensed by the A.M.A., would be highly trained in compassionate killing techniques. Surely the money paid to the assassin wouldn't affect his or her outlook on the procedure anymore than it does for doctors. In fact the money would serve as a clear indication of just how much ill will is borne toward the target, making the assassin feel more compassionate. In fact, in certain cases, multiple assassins would compete to prove their compassion. And if liberals are really worried about the money, we could create a massive murder-care system which would obscure who is paying for which murder, thus liberating the assassin from any possible shred of self interest.
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