Dear Fat Ladies,

For the umpteenth time I've had a conversation in which I am somehow crazy, or failing to enjoy life, or whatever other excuse you may have dreamed up in order to continue on your way and gain another few pounds, instead of trying something different. I am paying attention to your torturous arguments and I have come to the conclusion that you aren't arguing with me; no, you are arguing with yourself. You don't want to take responsibility. You are arguing with a mirror- one a little more effective than the one at home. A mirror that tells you it can be done, done rather easily in fact.

If it were just a call to struggle and fail again I could understand. Marathon runners let us believe that it is physically possible to run 26 miles, but you won't find me damaging myself trying to do that. No, instead of countless hours of exercise, starvation diets, and struggle of will, I tell you about The Shangri-La Diet, which amounts to little more than finding in time in a day for a dose of flavor-free calories. This shuts down appetite to the point where you can actually make coherent choices.
Also I'm happy to mention that grains, especially soy and wheat are really bad for you. The evolutionary based diet genre has a range of people in it, some are okay with dairy, for instance, and some aren't. I tend to think it comes down to how badly damaged you are from the modern American diet. More hunter-gatherer stuff (animal meat, animal fat, gatherable vegetables) less tractor and factory stuff (grain, grain/vegetable oils, processed foods, soy, gluten, corn syrup). How does this look bad?

Sure, my food decisions seem very different from you, but I actually enjoy what I eat. You are looking at the sum total of all of my decisions and magnifying the differences, but I started out changing incrementally. You are changing incrementally too; you are getting fatter and less strong because you continue to try and come up with excuses. The excuses are pretty thin, because I know real butter tastes better than margarine; there comes a point where you just won't want to eat poison, and believe, this isn't a bad place to be.

If the quality of my life is lower than it should be, let me remind you that losing 100+lbs has made it that much better, regardless of whatever it is now. No, I have an ex wife and have had several fat ladies in positions of authority over me in my life: their tendency to do what they want and not take any responsibility- well, the effects were not pleasant. Quality of life, insinuations that I may be mentally ill, etc- stop spouting this stuff to the mirror because all it ultimately does is reveal you.

And no, men, regardless of their size, do not say any of this insulting stuff, nor do women with a normal body-mass index.

My weight loss, friends, qualifies as a success. Funny thing, how, in a realm unhindered by fat women a MAN CAN ACTUALLY ACHIEVE SOMETHING! This isn't just something to contemplate as you think about your weight; it's something to contemplate whenever you are concerned about the fall of Western Civilization.