Asking For Foreign Help: A Few Long Shots

This morning, on the radio, I heard a journalist say that one of the rioters in Egypt had told her to tell Obama that they want Mubarak out. I find this approach to be of questionable use; is the protester thinking Obama is for the average Egyptian's freedom, or is this Egyptian, aware of America's meddling in world affairs, issuing a warning? Is the rioter saying, "Hey, Obama, back off and let us take Mubarak down!," or is he saying, "Hey Obama, you awesome freedom fighter you, come help us take Mubarak down!
In either case, the appeal to Obama is extremely unlikely to achieve anything, but I suppose it doesn't hurt trying, so here goes:

Hu Jintao, I want Obama out.

Dimitri Medvedev, I'll give you Alaska if you can keep Sarah Palin and all her kin out of the lower 48 and away from T.V. cameras.

Your Royal Majesty Queen Elizabeth, we here in America were very wrong. We thought we knew what we wanted when we said, "No taxation without representation." No, now we have representation and more taxation than we know what to do with. So, could you take us back, but not subject us to Parliament? We want all decisions made solely by you, preferably during a nice relaxing tea. Representation is a vile pretense, and the monarchy never taxed the people anywhere near the order of magnitude that legislative bodies do.

Is there anyone else I could petition? Could I get the ruling party of Singapore to come clean up Washington D.C.? It would be wonderful to see the bureaucrats forced to do honest labor. Well, perhaps we should disperse the inhabitants of D.C. across the land and put everything in D.C. on the auction block. We are bankrupt, and if the political sort could no longer gather in one place, perhaps they would do less evil.

(Sorry Alaska, I guess we should ask you first, kinda like the U.S.A. did, except they rigged the vote a little, didn't they? Maybe some of you could keep Palin home? I used to find the fact she bothered the Left so much mildly interest, but now she is just contributing to the overall stupidity of the debate, so I wish she'd go away.)