A bad night

 I watched a movie called Shoplifters.  It's a Japanese movie that Western film snobs apparently decided to like, because they imagine it fits in with their mindset.  The movie is about this group of petty criminals that act like a family- created mostly by an old lady that doesn't want to die alone, so she has sort of collected these people around her.  They seem generally nice to each other- in group morality working very well.

Anyway, there's a 'father' and 'son' team that usually does the actual shoplifting- and they end up bringing home an abused and neglected young girl.  Things are much better for her with this crazy little crew than from where she came.  In fact there's this one part where they try to take her back home, but they hear her parents fighting and hear how she is unwanted.  So, despite the danger, they keep her.

And obviously, things fall apart for these people.  The high point is a trip to the beach.  And there's the girl's character arc trajectory- she blossoms with these people, and seems to become stronger, perhaps even better able to handle the inevitable return to her mom, who wasn't the worst, at least.  It would have been more comforting had they established the father was well and truly out of the picture by that time.

It's a good movie, but a depressing movie, and I have noticed leftists seem to like depressing movies.  But I think they also liked this movie because they thought they saw in it an extension of the whole 'love who you love' type of sentiment.  I think some sentiment towards the idea that the family you choose is more important than blood was actually written on the dvd case. 

It's part of the plot that it becomes generally known that this girl is missing, Her parents are being questioned by the police, and the people she's are trying to figure out what to do, and in the process, she actively chooses to change her name and appearance, to play a role in this fake family.  One of the characters suggests that perhaps the bond is stronger when you choose your family.

They probably got the Palm d'or for that.  Never mind the consequences clearly played out on screen.  One could argue a character or two got what they wanted, perhaps what they needed.  But this faux family is inexorably erased as events unfold, though I supposed after everybody gets out of jail or whatever, maybe they could have a reunion.

But the night was young, and I have podcasts to listen to, so I listened to this https://robbwolf.com/2021/01/22/vit-d-while-pregnant-most-impactful-blood-tests-carnivore-calcium-needs-thrr-062/

In which Robb relates an experience at the park, where in a 50ish lady explains to him she's raising her grandchildren because, apparently, there's a very bad trend happening.  I don't know how widespread it is, but there are people who are just dumping their kids, and not necessarily on the grandparents either- this particular grandparent had to get her grandchildren out of the clutches of the foster care system.  

This was a bit too much for me, especially after watching the movie.   I felt quite emotionally devastated.

I am the oldest of six, probably spent more time with a child in my arms than most during my childhood, and pretty much always thought I would get married and have kids, excepting that brief time I thought maybe I should be a priest.

None of this happened.  I am alone and have been for quite some time.  And it feels like I collect behaviors and/or ideas that will likely just perpetuate that situation.  

But somewhere inside that me is still there.  If it is necessary to get in touch with myself, lets just say I'd prefer more constructive ways of doing so than having such a night as I did last night.