Or, Pattern vs Identity.
You can tell a coercive entity is coercive because its processes reinforce group identity.
In a non-coercive entity the processes are attractive to individuals, because there are significant benefits to using these processes. Any group identity arises out of shared experience and it is flexible, capable of scaling to handle both new people and new generations.
Unfortunately, it's easy for people to develop a group identity from good processes and then shift into the coercive state. Many political struggles center around such things. Obviously, it is not necessary to see this in order to know coercion is bad. What this is important for is creating organizations that will last.
Try to think across many generations. In due time, no-one who is alive at the inception of an organization will be alive. The organization has a purpose, therefore, it must have processes, or patterns by which it achieves its purpose. Now, to be more specific, the individuals involved must live, act, or otherwise move forward until they achieve the goal. There is no mysterious, deified "us" here. It can only be done by all the members of the group, regardless of who does the most, who decides the most, etc... If everyone leaves, there won't be a group.
The old Communist or Nazi rallies are great examples of processes solely for group identity. In fact, they are so obviously abnormal as to give a false sense of security because we are very unlikely to see anything that blatant. In fact, the temptation to engage in this kind of thing happens even among non-violent groups.
In contrast, the Christian sacraments are primarily about an individual's relationship with God. They do create a group identity, but at no point can the group identity take the place of the original intent. The sacraments are attractive to, and are undertaken freely by individuals and a sense of group identity does arise, but it is a much healthier, more familial sense, especially now in this era of religious freedom.
The processes that exist solely to create group identity are by default, injurious to the very group they were created to prop up. Remember, an organization is created for a purpose. If the organization fails to achieve its purpose, there is no longer a reason for its existence. So, why would anyone want to put valuable resources into strengthening group identity, when those same resources logically should be used to achieve the purpose?
So, logically, we should focus on our purpose, and in doing so, discover processes by which we can achieve the purpose. Then we will have a much stronger likelihood of seeing the fruit of our labor exist past a generation or two. With an eye to our history, we can find the true ways and avoid excess, or novelty, and maximize our chances for the future.
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