How to Approach Voting as a Christian

The very first thing you need to do is get rid of this wacky idea that somehow voting is your sacred duty. If significant numbers of us actually stay home, the political parties will notice and they might actually start taking us seriously again. Think of it like this, if you don't buy the defective product, perhaps one of these days someone will come out with a better one. If you just keep buying the bad product, we will never get anywhere.

So, if there's no real pro-life candidate, take a nap instead of voting. Seriously. Naps are good for you; politicians are not. Even when they say they are pro-life, sometimes they are not. And don't let anyone tell you this is myopic, one-issue voting either. It's just common sense- if they don't understand life, how can they understand anything else?

This really isn't one-issue voting. It's just one issue that'll get you out of bed. If you have a pro-life candidate, at least you can wander in the general direction of the polls. The candidates have limited influence on whether or not Roe v Wade will be overturned, so it's nice to have more to be fired up about. Otherwise, have a nice cup of coffee instead of voting. Really. They need to give you enough of a reason to wait around in line.

The next great question is property rights. Yes, I know nobody ever actually talks about that in an election. Politicians like to keep you thinking about the Middle East, the environment, and a myriad of other "crises." Did you know any "environmental" problems can actually be handled through property rights? You can measure whether or not some nut is polluting, and if his pollution is drifting onto your property you can collect damages through the court system. No actual need for massive centralized bureacracies! I realize that, to many of you, the last statement looks ridiculously oversimplified. It's not. You have been badly educated, or more accurately, cleverly propagandized to believe we need overly complicated answers for simple problems.

The third thing is: on how many issues does the candidate have a clearly articulated position on? An elected politician's greatest pressure in life is to get re-elected; they'll generally do anything to keep power once they get it, so the only way we can counteract this force of evil is to find the most uncompromising candidate out there. And it helps if he is uncompromising about practically everything. In this way, we get a man with some counteracting pressure to do what he thinks is right instead of just trying to get elected. We also get the most wonderful thing a modern "democracy" can provide: gridlock!

The only thing more wonderful than gridlock would be if the entire apparatus in Washington D.C. just voluntarily packed up and went home. As it is, it is surely glorious when the government shuts down and everybody just gets along like God intended. Of course, they could learn to behave themselves and return to their constitutional limitations, but in lieu of that let's have as much gridlock as possible.