I didn't just "not cheat." I tried to avoid any implication. I didn't want her to be jealous. I think this is an action of love; we know these things are negative feelings and we want our loved ones to feel well.
So, here's where the pseudomorality comes in. Whenever she did something that could make me feel jealous, and believe me she was reckless in that regard, it was about her freedom, and I felt I needed to just deal with the emotion and act maturely. It really didn't occur to me that I was holding myself to an impossible standard.
Meanwhile, if she had a certain type of dream, I'd get into trouble.
It turns out the mature action would have been to end it pretty much immediately.
So, why I am talking about the psuedomoralities in this case? I want point out how bad they are. Logically, I should have been able to see the sinfulness of the relationship and notice how incredibly un-loving she was to me, but the pseudomorality of soft-feminism provided an infrastructure for rationalizing just a little bit longer. In a similar way, I see good Christians confusing the principles of stewardship in the bible, which are based on life, with the environmentalist religion,
which is pro-death at the core. Or, look at the recent justifications for torture that have been trotted out in the post 9/11 world.
So, keep these weeds out of your garden. You don't want something that has it's root in death mixing in with your Christianity.