Monday, June 16, 2008

More Change: When It Always Feels Like You Are Losing

One teacher, one girl:

I sigh, thinking about pregnant 15-year-old Lost. Lost was so confused and angry all of the time. She used to tell me stories of how her boyfriend who was several years older than her, would hit her, cheat on her, shout at her. I used to beg Lost to leave him. Every time we would speak, I would say something like ‘Don’t forget to use a condom every single time!’ She would always laugh in an embarrassed fashion. I used to tell her there was nothing wrong in having high standards, that being on one’s own was just fine, to look at me, to be like me, to never lower one’s standards for anyone. But I was so far removed from her world. There was no way she could ever be like me. And then I got busy, didn’t seek her out so much to have our weekly chat. One day, she just disappeared. Next thing I knew, I heard through the grapevine that she was pregnant. I only took my eye off that ball for a minute. So she was one that I lost.

Worth reading all of it.

It feels like drowning. Nobody tells you that.

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