Stop having anything to do with it.
Marry without reference to the state. Most of the more problematic issues to this approach can be solved via power of attorney and/or a few other legal documents well known to lawyers. I suppose there may be a few good Christian lawyers left, and these are the sort of issues which pretty much apply to everyone, so it would not be impossible for anyone inquiring about getting married to be given instructions about it.
If the rejoicing post-DOMA is any guide, what a lot of people actually wanted was access to various federal programs and/or pots of money. Obviously, we must sacrifice access to this stuff in order to preserve marriage. This may seem harsh, especially since this stuff is often our own tax dollars, but it is actually possible to plan ahead, and should Christian ever actually begin acting like a community again, we should see alternatives to this stuff being created.
So, already I have seen words from bishops. I don't really care what these words are. These bishops have jurisdictions and authority. They can allow us to marry without reference to the state. Failure to act here amounts to abdication, except, of course, they won't have the decency to abdicate properly.