Each good deed may have some intrinsic value, but as a practical matter the house will fall without good foundations. Many an actor, inflated with good intention, pushes forth to center stage speaks out his intentions, but is surprised by the response he receives. The actor is troubled, for he cannot see why anyone would object.
But there are those who can see. The can see under the stage. They can look to the left, the right, and above it. They can take the measure of the place you put yourself. If the foundation is wrong, every conversation will be about the foundation. The actor sometimes deludes himself, because he believes the dialogue must drive the play forward, so we can't keep having the same conversation over and over. He grasps at trivialities, at circumstances and discusses their divine import. Meanwhile, those who can see the structure of things keep relating every thing back to the flawed foundation, because they know one must start with the right stone in place.
Moms are like this. They don't use my words, but they'll frame every single conversation in relation to that undone foundation, as my mom did when I left the Catholic Church. They can see too well under that stage.