Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The Tyranny Of The Syrupy

Sounds like the happy-happy joy-joy club has infiltrated just about everywhere.
The Ochlophobist strikes back:

Speaking of my own religious past, I should have learned then that people who, when they pray, or when they read Christian texts, use that saccharine, prozacianly happy, affected and emotive "spiritual" voice are simply using the voice that Jesus used. The voice he learned from the Father. The true sheep know this voice, and respond to it, much like folks respond to the smell of hash browns at MacDonald's when they walk by in the morning. I forgot the revelation that God has revealed to his true people - white middle class socially conservative Republican Americans who have found the true church, in this expression, AncientFaith™ - that a true "spiritual, prayerful atmosphere" is discerned by what makes me feel spiritual and prayerful when I listen to it. Warm fuzzy voices make me feel spiritual. Barber's Adagio for Strings as background music to sacred texts makes me feel prayerful, because, like, when they used that adagio in the movie Platoon it really helped me to realize how profound Vietnam war deaths were, and prayer is, like, even more profound than a Vietnam movie. I have been so bad ochlophobist grouchy wrong - I need to simply turn on AFR, go to the icon corner, hug myself while in a fetal position, and let the happy-pill like movement of the Spirit wash over me until I too speak in a manner that conveys that Jesus died to make us chipper.

Back when I was less concerned with being a good Catholic than I am now, I went to a new age bookstore a time or two. The pagans can do up that spiritual feeling pretty well. It hits you going in the door, smells, music, and no doubt, actual spiritual beings. They even had bibles, for the point of the game was that you would seek, and not find, continue to seek- through the astrology, numerology, gnosticism. Try fortune telling through pancake batter; all that really mattered was for you to come back and buy another book, amulet, oil, or crystal.

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